Welcome to episode one of Mother, Creator, a conversation series about creative motherhood and all the mess, joy, and complexity that can bring.
I’m chatting with Lucy Critchley of Untold Creative about becoming more creative in motherhood, putting down our phones, and talking to kids about grief.
Find Lucy on Instagram @untold.creative and me on Instagram at @zoepickburn.
I hope you enjoy it, please leave love and feedback in the comments — and if you’re also a mother creator, I definitely want to chat with you too! Say hello@zoepickburn.com.
TRANSCRIPT STARTS HERE
Zoe Pickburn 0:00
I keep insisting This is not a podcast. This is not podcast, it's just an audio thing that I'm gonna put online and people can listen to it in their ears. It's not a podcast, definitely not a podcast.
Hi, this is Mother, Creator, conversations about creative motherhood and all the mess and joy and complexity that can bring. I'm Zoe Pickburn. And I'm a writer, I write copy for small, creative business owners, and I write about parenting in various places online. And today I am talking to Lucy Critchley
Can we start by you maybe introducing yourself, kind of what you do who you are, what your motherhood situation is?
Lucy Critchley 0:46
Yeah, yeah. So my name is Lucy. I have a four and a half year old. So yeah, Edie is four and a half, she'll start school in September, which is crazy. And when I'm not with her, I also sometimes when I am with her, I run my own business, which is called untold creative. And I work with independent business owners who need some help telling the story of their business, whether that's through podcasting, social media, email marketing, or whether they need a bit of support in terms of like admin, and operations, to help them figure out and make space to be able to go and tell their story themselves. So that's kind of me in a nutshell.
Zoe Pickburn 1:37
And do you have other creative stuff that you do outside of your work?
Lucy Critchley 1:41
Yeah, I really like to embroider, which makes me sound like I should be in Bridgerton, I think. Yeah I really like to embroider my mam used to sew, and that was her thing. And I could never really get it with a sewing machine. But give me like an embroidery kit. And, um, I love it. And it's just one of those things that I get to do on an evening, there's no like, I don't need to get like, a big kit out, I don't need to get all this stuff out. I don't have to leave the house, I can just it's like my thing that I can do. And I can do it while I'm watch telly or, you know, listen to a podcast or you know, chat to my husband, all those kinds of things. And it's just like a thing that's for me, I find that you know, I'm looking at my phone less and I'm using my hands. And it just gives me that like, break away from everything, I suppose. Because it's just not like, the stuff that I do in my day to day. And it's something that I get to do. That's, that's for me. And I've also recently started to just like, doodle in a old notebook. We both went to the calligraphy workshop last week. And I've been like practising a little bit in there. And then the other end of the pen is like a fine liner isn't it? So I've been using that to doodle and like just let myself, like, draw and see what comes. So that's been really nice as well. And it's just stuff that like, in the day-to-day when I'm not with Edie, I don't really give myself permission to do. And that's something that I really want to work on. And I really want to change going forward. Really,
Zoe Pickburn 3:18
That makes a lot of sense. Especially I think for people who do creative things as part of their job. It can be nice to have something that you're not like monetising.
Lucy Critchley 3:27
Yeah, that's it. I mean, I've probably got about four completed hoops and I'm thinking: what I am gonna do with these? But there's just something really nice that, like: "I made that, I did that." People are probably going to get them for Christmas this year, I imagine, but it's just like, a nice thing that I've been able to, like I've done that, which I just never thought I would do.
Zoe Pickburn 3:52
How did becoming a mother change or impact your, sort of, creativity and your creative ambitions?
Lucy Critchley 3:58
Massively, actually, I never thought of myself as a creative person. Really, before I had Edie, I worked in a world where I was kind of like, here's a problem, you must find the solution. And I never saw that as a creative pursuit. I never really thought about creative thinking and problem solving in the same way as I do now. And now I do my own thing. And since I've had Edie, like she loves to draw, and she loves to colour and paint and do stuff. And it's really allowed me to lean back into all of that. Having her has really changed how I see myself creatively.
Zoe Pickburn 4:40
That sounds quite familiar. I think I'm sort of similar. And you kind of tell me a little bit about what creating looks like in this season of motherhood. I'm specifically talking about the practical things. It's quite important to make the invisible visible. Sometimes we can look at people creating things online and think oh my god, how do they do that? So, yeah. How do you do that?
Lucy Critchley 5:01
Yeah, that's a really good question. I'm lucky in that we have paid childcare for Edie. So that helps to free up some time. Usually, that's when I'm working. But there's the odd pocket of time where I can do something for myself, which really helps, and my husband is self employed, too. We're lucky, again, in that we have that element of being able to do our own thing, you know, we can decide on a Wednesday, usually, I don't normally work, but this week, I'm moving things around, so that he could work yesterday. And, you know, like, those kinds of things, and, and having that space to make those decisions means that we can, you know, I can I can get my embroidery kit out on a night, or I can do some in the day, you know, like, I get to make that choice for me. I think it changes throughout all the seasons. You know, like when Edie was a baby, and it was lock down. I couldn't even imagine doing anything like that for myself. But now she's four half, and she'll tell me that she wants to get the paints out, or she wants to draw or she wants to do whatever. And and that then forces me to think why am I looking at my phone? I could, I could be doing something really fun and enjoyable. So yeah, I think the phase that you're in, if you're not already, like actively creating, or you're not already a maker, having a kid that wants to do those kinds of things, really pushes your boundaries and a good way to allow you to like. I see myself sometimes as quite buttoned up, and I think like, having her has helped me like relax into myself a bit more. It changes, I think as they get older.
Zoe Pickburn 6:42
Yeah, it definitely it definitely sort of changes, I definitely want to speak to people who are in all different kinds of stages of motherhood. Kind of to add to that, I think for me, part of it is I want to almost like model that creativity for my daughter, like stuff that I wouldn't have done before I had her, it sort of makes you visibly be the person that you want to be.
Lucy Critchley 7:05
Yeah, this is it. And I don't know about you. But when I was a kid, it wasn't really encouraged. It wasn't like, let's draw, let's get stuff out. Let's play. Let's do this. It was just like, you do your thing, I'll do my thing. I mean, it was the 90s, it was different. But like, I think, yeah, now having Edie like, I want to show her all the stuff that she could do if she wanted to do it, and give her that opportunity. But I'm now only there in my like, mid 30s, you know?
Zoe Pickburn 7:37
Yeah. And then the the other question, I guess, going back to creative thinking, how you use that in your parenting? Less so about sort of getting the paints out and more so about what sort of creative decisions have you made as a parent?
Lucy Critchley 7:53
Yeah, I think, you know, I was thinking about this, but I feel like we make creative decisions all the time. Like, she will ask for certain things, whatever. And we might say no, but say, Well, if we did this, maybe he could have that next time. Or let's think about this next... You know, like, let's consider what you already might have, or, you know, things like that. But obviously, it's not always a winning battle, because kids are, you know, they like things don't they, they like shiny new things. She loves, she loves a shiny thing. So yeah, having those conversations with her, though, that are like getting to see her point of view, and then also trying to explain our point of view, you have to explain things quite creatively, I think. And also, we've had some grief in our family. So she has asked a lot of questions about death, and trying to explain things like that in a way that isn't I don't know, graphic, or, you know, like, in a way that is appropriate that is age appropriate. That you definitely have to employ some creative thinking to protect them. And yourself, you know, because yeah, she would ask, she would want to know, all the nitty gritty. It's really hard to like, communicate that in a way that is age appropriate. But is also like answers to questions. So I think you have to employ a lot of creative thinking and also like, take time. One thing that I used to be rubbish at is taking my time, I would rush in and I would be like, "Well, it's because of this this and this," you know, whereas, now, I think creativity has a lot to play in it. and also therapy. But there's definitely been like an experience of like, if I don't know the answer as much as she's pressing, pressing me. For one, I'm sort of able to say, well, well, why do you want to know that or like asking more questions about it almost buying myself some time to respond in a way that is appropriate, because I feel like you know, when I was a kid if there was questions like that, that I'd have asked probably would have gotten a lot more information than I was expectingto get. So now with Edie, I can really, you know, don't get me wrong. She's not like an angel child. And if I say I don't know yet, she won't just like drop it, but it does give me that extra bit of space to be able to think about how I can answer things or act in a way that is in her best interest as well as like ours. And, you know, answers what she needs to know. But also in a way that is right for her as a child.
Zoe Pickburn 10:26
Yeah, That's a hard path to sort of navigate. I've yet to kind of get to that we're not really talking yet so
Lucy Critchley 10:31
Lot's of whys. why? but why though? Why?
Zoe Pickburn 10:34
Yeah, I'm not looking forward to that. I am a little bit.
Lucy Critchley 10:37
Yeah, its sweet.
Zoe Pickburn 10:39
Yeah, at the right moment. I feel like I need to, like say something to end it but. I Don't know what.
Lucy Critchley 10:45
You could just do a thanks for coming, kind of thing.
Zoe Pickburn 10:48
Thanks for joining.
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